Two days late, and an hour short...

...but maybe, just maybe, I've taken the first few steps this morning.

Got up and weighed first thing. WAY worse than it should have been, WAY better than it could have been. But to get to where you want to go, you have to know both endpoints - where you want to go, and where you currently are. I've got that now.

Drove straight to work today, brought my workout clothes. There is a workout class at 8:00 am, but I really didn't feel ready for it. So I'm working out on my lunch break.

Food - brought my lunch today. My company just moved to a brand new building. The old building had a cafe where I could get pretty good options. The new building has a cafe as well, but the choices are just abysmal. I know that there are probably some that like them, but the "healthy" choices are usually rather unappetizing to me.

So...

My plan...

Still working it through. But here are the current elements:

1) Stick within my calorie deficit. This means that (for now) I can eat a bit more if I do exercise. I must NEVER eat as many calories as I exercise, however.
2) Use myfitnesspal to track everything.
3) Up my fruits/vegetables significantly - at least 4 vegetable servings per day, and 3 fruit servings per day.
4) Hit 10,000 steps daily (I've got some fitbit friends I need to beat...)
5)
6)

That's all I have at the moment. I do know that my fitness plan does need some work. I will keep coming up with it. I am also considering the "take a picture of everything I eat" route with the food. That could help a lot to keep me honest in the food department.

Something else that I need to work on...fear. More on that next time.

For now, time to get to work. Have a good day...

-Silas

Something has to change.

It's time for the normal "tail between the legs" return to blogging that normally accompanies a long break. Of what, 9 1/2 months?

As you can probably guess, doing the same old thing has brought me back to the same old place yet again. I do know that something has to change.

I know what to do to get things to work. Eat way less crap, eat way more raw foods, and get moving a lot more. But when you have an eating disorder, that is a lot easier said than done.

I need something. Accountability? Certainly. A new plan? Maybe. Motivation? Definitely.

So I may start taking to posting here on a daily basis as an accountability thing. I am considering taking a picture of every single thing that goes into my cake-hole, both liquid and solid, and then posting all of it here.

I have been trying to start and restart since last September, and there is always "one more." One more work lunch, one more holiday, one more scout activity...there is always one more.

But I do know that there is one more thing that I need.

I need a new mindset.

I've always done the diet thing until I've lost a ton of weight. But then my mind shifts back to whatever it is that I want. For some reason my brain thinks of food and dieting as all or nothing.

That is silly. And consciously I reject it.

However, subconsciously, it is in the forefront of my beliefs, apparently.

Time to find a way to change mindsets. Time to find some way of changing natural reactions, and trying to forget the all or nothing mentality.

I need to find a way to not just go on a diet. I need to make a long-term life change.

I've known this for a very long time. I have yet to find a way to accomplish it.

So over the next three days I'm going to try to spend some time figuring out version 1.0 of a long-term life plan. Then on Monday I'm going to start it officially.

I'm also most likely going to be working out the format and content of my (hopefully) daily posts as well.

Get ready for a ton of pics of what I'm ingesting.

As long as I can keep rigorous honesty here with what I eat, then I truly believe that this will help.

Time for another change.

Time for another start.

Because even though I've given up, I refuse to actually give up.

See you soon.