Thursday, April 2, 2015


I have an un-diagnosed eating disorder and food addiction (especially sugar). I am 100% sure of it. I am not making an excuse. I am trying to think things through so that I am able to analyze enough to make some real, lasting changes.

Why do I think I have an eating disorder? I eat way too much crap. Pretty much anything that I can get my hands on and stuff into the cake-hole.

Sugar, carbs, fat, liquid sugar...I am not sure that I care. I do know that no matter how many times I tell myself at the end of the day when I'm feeling fat, bloated and gross, that tomorrow I am going to do better...EVERY TIME I make another justification why it's not going to happen today. Just one more day. It won't make a difference.

Bull crap.

Why do I think it's an eating disorder? First of all is the sheer volume of crap that I put down on a daily basis when I'm not in the right place.

So where did I end up?

I started off getting married probably at about 235. I'm a tall, muscled guy, but I was still a bit overweight. Not a ton - it didn't show too much in the wedding pics, but it was there if you know what to look for.

Weird. The train of thought just took me to think about our engagement photos vs. our wedding photos. Our engagement photo, I was small. I looked great! Thinking about the wedding photo, like I said, it is there, if you know what to look for.

Being me, I know what to look for.

Side note off...

Well, that was in the spring of 1997. In the spring of 2003, I believe, I topped out at 336.4 pounds. Yes, that's 100 pounds in 6 years. Frankly, that is NOT tough to do. Basically if you eat 100 extra calories per day for 6 years...BAM. 100 pounds.

We were not ready to be on our own. I never learned how to eat, what to eat, how to be healthy. All I learned is that now that we are on our own, and cooking can be tiring, and Little Caesars is cheap...well, in the end, I took the easy route, time and time again.

And then add to that the un-diagnosed eating disorder. I started getting chips, soda, and candy to eat all day long. If you read my last post, you know that I'm a geek. Well, I sit at a desk all day for work. These two combinations are NOT good.

So that is how I got to be where I am.

Coming Up Next..."To Fit."

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