The struggle is real.

I'm looking for something. What that something is, I do not yet know. But that something is the thing that makes the difference between the times when I do well and lose weight and the times when I gain weight.

Isn't it odd that there isn't a middle ground? Any maintenance is just going up and down the same 10 pounds, repeatedly, over a period of time. It isn't maintenance. It's serial gaining and losing.

I used to have another blog. This is during the time when I was first losing weight with Weight Watchers. It went so well - it was so much fun to watch the weight come off.

When I was nearing my goal, I wrote a blog post entitled "What makes the difference?" I was trying to figure out what the difference was between people who lose weight and regain, and people who lose weight and keep it off.

I spouted so very much wisdom. None of which appeared to mean anything.

There was a rather great debate with some great ideas. None of which I have appeared to have followed.

So what makes the difference?

What is the something that I am looking for?

I don't know. I do know that I read a few articles yesterday. Most articles on the internet are just stupid opinions by stupid people. (Case in point - this very blog.) But this one has resonated just a little bit inside, set off some things rattling around in the cranium. (Language warning - a couple of pretty bad words.)

http://dicktalens.com/the-myth-of-willpower-and-eat-less-move-more/

I don't yet know what this article means to me. But I do know that the ideas contained therein make me think.

What is a positive feedback loop? To tell you the truth, I think that it is different for every single person. What is it for me?

Good question. I remember starting off on the weight loss competition. At first I did well because I didn't want to be embarrassed at the weigh-ins. Gradually I started noticing changes - looser fitting clothing, more energy, more strength. That made it easier.

And weigh-in after weigh-in I was out in front. It is even easier when you are winning. I think this is the feedback loop that the guys was talking about.

And then I started getting paranoid.

I think that may be where everything went South. I started eating even less and exercising even more to make sure that I stayed out in front.

One thing that the article talks about is making sure that what you do is something that you can do for the long haul. Don't like running? Don't do it - find something else to do. Can't give up pizza? Don't give up pizza. Find a way to stick it in.

Whatever it is that you do has to be done for good.

So there are my ramblings for the morning. I think I will sum up this way...

1) I need to find my feedback loop.
2) I need to find the plan that will stick forever
3) I need to do this now.

Because remember - tomorrow doesn't exist. Tomorrow never comes. There is only the now.

-Silas